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January 12, 2010 / TildeWill

Heart Flush

I think my love compass got a major reset while I was away. Two big statements really struck deep in the core of Will Read and said, “Hey! WTF are you doing, your head doesn’t belong in your ass.” Clearly.

The first one had nothing to do with who said it, and everything to do with what was said. “You’re in the Bermuda Triangle of friendship – there’s no escape.” Before these words, I felt like I understood the difference between being a woman’s friend, and being a romantic interest. After these words I have this horrible picture in my mind, flying an old ass biplane of romance into a storm of direction loss and chaos, where the only thing one can reasonably expect is to end up bloodied and drowning at the bottom of the ocean. I now understand that no amount of anything will ever allow you to “change up” how a woman sees you.

The second came form the movie 500 Days of Summer. A movie about a relationship not unlike some of my more recents, where the guy is head over heels for the girl, and the girl is just along for the ride to see where things end up. In there, Summer says to Tom, “… It just wasn’t me that you were right about.” With some context, she just got married to some other guy. Tom is looking for a reason to how she couldn’t fall in love. Her meaning is that she was in fact capable of loving, it just wasn’t the person Tom wanted it to be. Being wrong about love is hard to accept. It’d be like not knowing what a house was, but knowing you wanted one, and then someone comes along and tells you houses are beautiful and that you’ll want all the frills. So you invest your life savings and your time and you build yourself a house. And just as you step back to admire your work, your neighbor walks by and says, “Nice tutu.” Suddenly you’re devastated because you can’t begin to understand how you could have been so wrong about something that felt so right, something you were willing to throw your whole life into. Just like that, what you thought was a house, is now a pink frilly skirt.

At least you’ll look pretty when you dance.

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