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January 23, 2009 / TildeWill

“Drunk” Will

Back in college, before I was 21, before I drank (and was kind of an asshole about it), people always said “Will, you’re so crazy sober, I want to see you when you’re drunk! I bet you’d be nuts!”

The truth is that Will + alcohol = sleepy quiet Will. Not what anyone wants at all at a party.

However, if it’s “more Willness” that you’re craving, I have just the thing. Last night I went to see Slumdog Millionaire with Lara – parts are sad and violent, but on the whole, everything works out, so it’s what I call a “fun” movie. Two hours later, when the movie was over, I was an entirely different creature. A creature I know, and one I really love. It starts when I stand up, and I see people leaving behind their empty popcorn and beverage containers.

I turn to Lara and, in a tone loud enough for most of the theater I say “Man! It’s AMAZING how, even though I emptied my popcorn container, IT GOT SO HEAVY THAT I COULDN’T CARRY IT TWENTY FEET TO THE CONVENIENTLY LOCATED TRASH CANS right outside the door!”

This continues for the entire duration of the slow shuffle out of the theater, much to the embarrassment of who ever is walking with me. This is when “drunk” Will has reached his full. Now he starts yelling in the streets about the crazy stuff people do, how we’re lost, or how he thinks traffic signals ought to work. He remembers some of the crazier stories from his life, and has a puppy-like bounce to his steps. “Drunk” Will is extra creative, he could paint, or sing, and loves to dance A LOT. He’ll dance to the music bleeding out of a car driving by, the music in an elevator, or to the music in his head.

“Drunk” Will is fun to be around if you have the right attitude. He can also be unbearable. He’s always happy. If you’re looking for more Will action, all it takes is two hours of movie going.


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