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May 12, 2008 / TildeWill

To Know When You’re Wrong

Talking to Michelle tonight I realized that when it comes to people I want to date, I have a hard time admitting I’m wrong about how perfect we might be for each other. From a logical stand point, if you say we’re not meant for each other, then by definition we’ll never work out. But I think the reason I try so hard to hold my ground is that I’m convinced you’ve missed something, that you don’t see what I see, because if you did see things from my point of view we wouldn’t be disagreeing.

So I run down a path of assumption, that she doesn’t know who I am. She can’t see how my quirks might compliment hers because she hasn’t taken the time to see them. I used a recycling analogy.

Would you recycle if you didn’t know that it would help the planet?

What if the only reason you had to recycle was “… because the city offered recycling”?

Are you even a good recycler now, knowing that it can help the planet? I know I’m not. I haven’t been shown a good enough reason. If they said “Will, you have to recycle or you’ll die next week.” I’d bring in every can, every newspaper, every milk jug until I was tired of life.

So then it was pointed out to me, that just like I may think she needs to be shown a reason that it’s perfect, she may think I need to be shown a reason why my hope is misplaced, that if only I could see it from her shoes, that I’d let go in an instant.

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2 Comments

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  1. anthogna / May 12 2008 12:30 pm

    Indeed, it is always important to remember that there are two people in a relationship between two people, and both people have equally valid motives and desires.

    Trying to talk someone out of breaking up with you is not fair to either person – them because you’re not truly taking their thoughts and feelings into account, and you because you’ll end up compromising on things that turn out to be more important to you than you thought (hence why you’ll most likely go though the breakup process again.)

  2. Grace / May 12 2008 3:06 pm

    I like what Anthongna had to say. Its a little bit of what i was saying last night:

    Two people cannot maintain a relationship (friendship or otherwise) without having the same motives. otherwise the perspective becomes skewed…

    I am glad you are thinking about this.

    URL.

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