For a while now I’ve said and been told I’m good husband material. But there’s a difference between being berries that are perfect for a jam, and being the jam. I mean that I haven’t undergone the squashing process to follow the jam analogy. I may be sweet, have good color, and moisture, but if I never take the time to become a jam, then I’m still just a berry, and some day I’ll rot and then I’ll not be good for much.
What I’ve been thinking about is that I haven’t taken the time ever to be a great boyfriend. Whenever I’ve been dating I’ve also been busy making the time to be a great proponent of fencing (fencer, coach, ref, etc.). I think I made fairly good choices in the past, fencing was helping me to grow. But now I’m not so sure it has the same effect on me. I’m also no longer certain that I’m helping fencing grow.
I look at this last year. I became the secretary of the Indiana division and since then we’ve had some of the smallest turn outs, it seems like people are traveling and competing less than ever before. I look at Purdue Fencing Club, and they do a good job of making decisions without me. RCF I know I’m holding back because I’ve got two unanswered emails in my inbox from people wanting to fence, and there’s a voice mail on the club’s phone from the newspaper that I haven’t followed up on.
Work and other things keep me from giving my fencers the attention they need and deserve. Not one of my fencers has really felt like he has improved since I stopped being full time. I get frustrated when the new fencers don’t listen to me. I get grouchy when the old fencers don’t do as well as they could. I’m a detriment to the sport.