[In Spite of] My Best Intentions
When I entered college, I was a young man of 18 years. I knew that I was different from other people. I smiled a lot, laughed a lot, and always saw the positive, the good in things. I knew that losing those traits would mean that I would have “grown up”, or more specifically, gotten old, and bitter.
I recently realized I am indeed old, and bitter. I do not laugh as much. I have a low tolerance for antics. I get road rage instead of responding to a tailgater with a smile and a wave. I see problems, and I find solutions, but I don’t always see the good in the situation that exists. I’m a skeptic more than I’m comfortable with.
What I really want to know is when did this happen, what caused it? Was it too many years in college? Was it taking on too much responsibility? Was it being in a more parental role via coaching? Was it being part of the work force? Was it dating that made me jaded? Was it just time? Have I had poor role models for this sort of thing recently? I cannot say, and perhaps it was some combination of these things. I do know I’m different, and I now have an opportunity to change if I want to. If I want to…