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July 14, 2007 / TildeWill

The Answer Is Yes

My problem in life, the places where I stumble most, can be summed up by my answer to this question I had on a dating site: “Even when you’re in a serious relationship, is a part of you still open to someone better coming along?”

6 billion people on earth, half of them women (roughly). For me to say “I’ve found the person in the whole world that I relate MOST to, the MOST beautiful, and the MOST intelligent” is absurd. Now it becomes a more reasonable statement when you narrow the scope to my geographic region. But then you have to remember that people move in and out of Lafayette all the time. In my lifetime, I expect I’ll come in to contact with a few million people, and only talk to 1/100th of them at most. Would the person I’m dating at any given time be the best match of the people I’ve met? Certainly. Of course, I meet new people all the time.

So what keeps people together, why aren’t we all just jumping from ship to ship? I think it’s the history that we develop over time. The memories and knowledge you share of each other, that’s what some new stranger cannot offer. That’s why marriages last I think. Similarly, I think people cheat when those memories no longer become valuable (because they’re mostly negative) or the knowledge of each other is not being applied. The most magical part of a new relationship is being surprised with a gift or an outing that you didn’t expect, but is just what you wanted, and it was given to you because you didn’t even realize you had mentioned it to your significant other and she picked up on it and applied it to your relationship.

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3 Comments

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  1. lina / Jul 16 2007 2:46 pm

    If you want to always be striving for new and better in relationships, it’s fine as long as you are happy.

    If you want to stop because you stumble across someone that fits well enough you don’t feel the need to keep an eye out for something that might be better, that’s fine too as long as you are happy.

    You always seem a little lost in your own pursuits of relationships which boggles me a bit since you’ve given me better advice than anyone else I know on the subject.

    I think perhaps you are just fickle~

  2. emanon / Jul 16 2007 10:35 pm

    I think the reason I look so deeply into the topic of relationships is that I’ve been happy. Not just once, but on several occasions. But then that happiness diminishes, or I’ve screwed it up. So what I’m really hoping to do is figure out a way to keep up the happy level and not repeat my past mistakes; understand why I made them and avoid putting myself in that same situation again.

  3. lina / Jul 23 2007 9:24 am

    Man, I can tell when your birthday is around the corner 😛

    You are being ridiculously emo and over analytical. There’s no magical forumla, relationships just are.

    They all change and they all evolve, just like friendships really. Sometimes you both make an effort to grow together and support each other, and sometimes you don’t.

    I’m sure you’ve had numerous friendship over the years that have been absolutely fantastic in the moment, but faded with time. If you are anything like me you’ve found that only a handful of relationships have held up in any degree over the years. Look at those, not failed or faded relationships that didn’t hold up, if you want to see how you have successfully kept relationships alive for years.

    Also, always keep in mind that it always takes two~

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