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February 22, 2007 / TildeWill

Relationship Growth

I learn something in every relationship. This one is no exception. Here I’ve been presented with barriers, walls, obstacles, and guardsmen – all designed to prevent me from showing affection. I suspect their true purpose is to safeguard against vulnerability, which in turn hinders trust and openness.

My job, as a relationship participant, is to deliver my feelings of fondness and loyalty to the person contained inside the barriers. And the rules are always changing and expanding:

  • No surprises
  • No celebrating Valentine’s Day
  • No direct compliments, especially in regards to physical appearance
  • No cheer leading at fencing events

So I’ve assembled a crack team of innovators, dreamers, and imagineers (read: Me, Myself, and I are all present and accounted for). Together this team is presented with this challenge. Occasionally moral is low, and frustrations increase, especially when new barriers are uncovered, but ultimately they experience success, and they continue to take pride in their work. The tools they employ include: Sideways comments that sneak in to an otherwise neutral statement, rule bending, and good old fashioned Tom-Foolery. Knowledge is the key to many of these tactics. Pushing the limits means sometimes you push too far and the best thing they can do is apologize and ask for forgiveness, … and then try again 🙂

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