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November 8, 2006 / TildeWill

To Settle

As much as Ifight the phrase “fear of commitment”, the truth is that I’m afraid to settle. My brain is always wondering if there’s something better out there, what am I missing out on. I envy people “I’ve picked this person for the rest of my life and I’m more than ok with that.” While I was in Chicago visiting Matt, we went to a restaurant. I was off in the bathroom when the waitress came to take our dessert orders (my meal apparently included dessert, I wasn’t expecting that).

When I came back, the other people at the table had gotten a sundae. I decided that I’d get a sundae too, but the waitress insisted that I should examine the case which had my other options for dessert. I refused, saying that I had made up my mind, and that I wanted a sundae, that I didn’t need to see what else was out there.

I think getting engaged must be a lot like that. It’s when you find someone who is good enough to make you not care “what’s in the case”. It’s not really “settling”, it’s more… it’s not caring about what else is out there. It’s a time and place in your life when you find someone, and you know that to find someone better would require so much time and energy that the difference between that person and this person makes the effort no longer worth while. That’s when you’ve found the one. That’s how you know; it’s when you say “Just give me the sundae, it’s what I really want.”

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