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December 22, 2005 / TildeWill


This is a grumble post. I know what my options are and what I could do for what reasons, I just need to grumble about it.

Next Tuesday, Scott will be in Cincinnati. Scott was the president of the PFC before me and is a big part of who I am today. Scott lives in Virginia and I haven’t seen him in over a year. So since he’s visiting home in Indiana he decided to stop in Cinci on his way back to Virginia to visit all the PFC people in Cinci.

The trouble comes in that he selected my ex-girlfriends place to have such a gathering. The problem isn’t so much the ex-girlfriend as it is that it’s her turf. I’ll admit that I’m never 100% ready to see her when it’s at a mutual friend’s party or out on the streets of Cincinnati. But she’s never invited me to her place, event this thing Scott invited me (and everyone else to her place). The one time I dropped by I was given a thorough chewing out after the fact.

So there are three options. 1) Let my discomfort and feeling of unwelcomeness dictate my actions and pass on the gathering and not see Scott and a bunch of other friends. 2) Let my discomfort and feeling of unwelcomeness dictate my actions and instead go see Scott on my own at his parents’ place. 3) Ignore my feeling of unwelcomeness and go and see Scott and everyone else.

There are three problems. #1 doesn’t get me to see Scott. #2 interferes with my already busy Christmas agenda and I know the conversation and fun would not be as great as it would be in Cinci. #3 Is a problem because despite my best efforts I’ll still feel uncomfortable, and my reaction to discomfort is jaded sarcasm. I’ll also suffer because my ex will behave as if she were my friend, but cease to do so the moment I walk out her door, and the disjunct is difficult for me to comprehend.

P.S. If anyone out there reading this knows Scott and wants to see him I’d imagine you’d be welcome out in Cinci as well.

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