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October 26, 2005 / TildeWill


Thinking about relationships, not just dating, what makes them successful is the level of predictability that the other party exhibits. Thinking back to my very first friend, John, everything was ok until the day he snapped and chased me around my yard spitting on me. It was just one fight, I could have gotten past it, but more than anything he now was unpredictable in my head.

I read somewhere that by being predictable people come to expect you to behave within those implied bounds. The scary part is that you limit a person. The bonus of course is that you unconsciously come to trust that person in a whole new way. You become comfortable and open up more than you would have otherwise making any step outside those bounds all the greater violation.

The longer someone stays in those bounds the more comfortable one can become around him/her, the deeper the relationship. It’s tough when someone shakes up their image and you have to readjust your perception. The longer someone remains predictable, the easier they are to like/love. On the other end of the bargain, the longer you delay forming a constrictive perception, or the broader you make your perception the same can be said.


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