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August 17, 2005 / TildeWill

Survey on Women

After talking to Jacqui about who I want to date and how any given person is “bait” for a certain type of girlfriend/boyfriend. Me, I seem to attract the bi-sexual, lesser practiced religious, issues with parents, kind, caring, teacher type women. Not that these are bad people, but I’m ready for a change. Since I want to date a different type of woman, Jacqui and I came to the conclusion that an upstanding person has three options:

  1. Accept the type of “lure” you are and be happy with the type of women you attract.
  2. Change yourself to become a different lure to attract different women, but you must change an not pull a “bait and switch” as that would be deceitful
  3. Not date anymore, or keep dating and continue to be dissatisfied

Well for me the clear choice is #2, to change myself. The question is what do I change? What do I keep the same? So I’ve developed the following survey to try to figure out where to start.

Instructions

Women can fill this out, or men can fill it out for any/all of the women they’ve dated.

For all questions, answer them as they pertain to your current or most recent relationship. Please steer clear of the concept of “an ideal guy”.

Ask your friends to take it. I’ll post my findings, and the more women that respond the better the findings.

If you’re bold enough to post your responses in the comments, feel free to do so, otherwise drop it in an e-mail to will@read.name.

  • What is your age?
  • What is your bf’s age?
  • Describe you physical appearance briefly: hair color, height, weight, etc:
  • What stereotype does your bf fit in? Jock? Geek? Punk?
  • Where did you meet your bf? Bar? Sporting event? Library? Parking lot?
  • Who approached who?
  • What did he say/do that got your attention?
  • What public places do you as an individual spend your time?
  • How does your bf dress?
  • When you met your bf, was he alone or with friends?
  • When you met your bf, were you alone or with friends?
  • When/where are the best times/places for a single guy to approach you?
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3 Comments

Leave a Comment
  1. elsie / Aug 18 2005 5:02 pm

    Hey Will,

    Since you are talking about finding a certain type of girl, I thought I would tell you what I came across in a book I read about a year ago. I am not sure if I agree with it, and I might have mentioned it to you before. If so, sorry.

    Anyhow, the basic idea is that we all have certain emotional tasks. Basically these tasks are sorts of voids that we need to complete. Things that we are missing. They come from lots of places but are usually there because we missed something growing up.

    This book suggested that we all enter into relationships because we are trying to complete an emotional task. So, although it may seem like your partner is similiar to you, they really have qualities that you lack. So, subconciously, we are all seeking out people who can help us fulfill these emotional voids.

    It also asserts that this is the reason most realtionships end. One of the people involved has completed their emotional task and is ready to move on. This is why many people find themselves entering the same kind of relationship over and over. THey have not yet completed their emotional task.

    The books suggests that you examine what you got out of previous realtionships to determine what your emotional tasks are. List what initially attracts you to the person and what characteristics you enjoy during the realtionship. It also suggests that very early on in realtionships we know in the back of our heads that it isn’t going to work out or we have certain apprehensions. It asks you to list those things too and to try to figure out why you ignored them. Finally, it asks you to list what qualities you gained from the realtionship. What things can you do now that you could not to before? What things do you still need more practice with?

    The whole idea of this book is to make you more self aware. It says that you’ll have better realtionships and lots of other stuff. But you may be asking yourself, “if we are only in realtionships to fill voids, then how do people stay married forever?” Well, it’s either because instead of two people learning from each other, they start to depend on each other. The other (better way) is that one voids are fulfilled the people can grow together in new directions, and don’t need to find other people to fulfill emotional tasks.

    Anyhow, it was long but I hope it was interesting!

  2. elsie / Aug 18 2005 5:16 pm

    1. My age: 24
    2. His age: 24
    3. I’m 6’0 147lbs green eyes, brown hair, fair skin
    4.um…he doesn’t fit into a sterotype actually. He’s a kid who listens to punk music and enjoys shopping at polo!
    5. at the cactus kind of…..had known him from a class a LONG time ago and ran into him again
    6. he approached me after a few drinks and waiting a few hours!
    7. he just came up and asked if i was elsie
    8. Resturants, school, gym, the pool at the apt., mall, grocery store
    9. He dresses great when we go out…on a day to day basis he just wears shorts and goofy t-shirts
    10. He was alone
    11. I was with friends
    12. just appraoch me in a fairly public place. if it looks like i am busy leave me alone. I’ve never went out with someone who asked me out after meeting me somewhere though. Usually i have to know them in some capacity first.

  3. Jennifer / Aug 29 2005 12:41 pm

    I’m a little late and don’t know what good this will do for you, but because you asked.

    What is your age? 24
    What is your bf’s age? 25
    Describe your physical appearance briefly: hair color, height, weight, etc:
    You should know, 5’7″, light red/brown hair, tubby etc.
    What stereotype does your bf fit in? Jock? Geek? Punk? Mostly geek
    Where did you meet your bf? Bar? Sporting event? Library? Parking lot? Coffee House
    Who approached who? We met through a mutial friend. I really couldn’t tell you who said hi first. After the get-together he was the one to approach me to ask me out.
    What did he say/do that got your attention? I found throught the convo we had a lot in common. When he asked me out afterwards he was direct wnad honest.
    What public places do you as an individual spend your time? We’re pretty much home bodies now.
    How does your bf dress? Like the ave joe, mostly in jeans and Tees
    When you met your bf, was he alone or with friends? With friends
    When you met your bf, were you alone or with friends? With friends
    When/where are the best times/places for a single guy to approach you? Usually when I’m hanging by myself. Although now if I were asked out Anthony would have something to say about it ^_^

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