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August 17, 2005 / TildeWill

It’s All About Who You Want To Be

For the longest time I only wanted to be me and take little consideration for who or what others wanted me to be. And I did alright. But part of being me was being responsible. Being responsible means fulfilling your obligations and being a dependable person. I want to be a friend, I want to be an employee, I want to be a fencer, I want to be somebody’s someone.

Each of these wants means that I have to adapt, sometimes a little bit, sometimes a lot. If being an employee means that I can’t post during the day, then I want to be an employee more than I want to post at 2:35pm on a weekday. If being a friend means that I have to console her when a guy breaks up with her, then I want to have people to share my life with more than I need that hour or two or four or twelve or whatever of alone time. Relationships, business or otherwise, are all about trade-offs. I once said that “‘relationship ‘ is just a fancy word for ‘compromise'”, and that’s not a bad thing. So by taking upon the title of responsible, one also assumes a fair amount of compromise, character adjustment, and hopefully a nice set of benefits for those sacrifices.

You can’t try to change yourself AND expect to stay the same. Something has always got to give.

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