I’m Tough To Get Along With
I am, and I’m not. If we meet in a group/social environment, my hope is that you’ll never say “…and I just didn’t get along with that Will guy.” But if you want to get into it, really dig into my life, and you’re not of the same mind as me, similar goals and personality traits, good luck.
I have known for a while that I surround myself with people who are like me. It’s not a conscious effort, but it’s not a subconscious thing either. I realized that after talking to Josh, that I am always trying to find people to trust. The easiest people for me to trust are those who have the same goals as me, those who understand me because it’s not too far off from understanding themselves.
The problem, per say, is that…well… how many people like Will Read have you met in your life? I’ve been fortunate to meet a few (scary, I know). Those elements of trust and understanding come into play more and more, the more that person gets to make decisions that affect me. That’s people like my parents, boss, girlfriend, co-board members, coworkers, and my closest friends. These are the people that I have to trust to govern various parts of my life in my stead.
I want you to think about this: If we took out your brain for a week, and someone else was in charge of your life for a week, who would you pick to run it? I would not pick my boss because I don’t understand him yet. My parents could obviously do a good job and thus they’re listed as my emergency medical contacts and they get my 401K in the event of my death. I’d assume that any future Mrs. Read would be such a person. Some old friends from high school or college have probably known me long enough to do things as I’d see fit. Maybe one or two others, but not many.
I think that is the reason that I’m tough to get along with. I expect the people around me to put forth the same effort, the same passion that I do into the things that I do. I want them to be like me because I have it in my head that I’m doing pretty well in life, that to be doing so, is not as prevalent a thing as it should be.
After Nearly a Decade
I’m retiring from fencing. No more fencing, no more coaching, no more refereeing starting August 1st, 2008.
Why? it’s not because I’m burnt out in the sense that I’ve had too much fencing. It’s more that this has always been my plan. To start something, raise it up, and then turn it over to the people who asked for it – the members. Now that RCF is incorporated, I only serve to stand in the way of preventing many people from doing the work that one man cannot. The tools are there, the armorers, the coaches, the refs, the facility, it is far from an impossible situation.
My hope is that people will take it upon themselves to do more demos, to bring in friends, to teach each other to do the things they have learned. In the mean time, I will be regaining my weekend, my evenings, and my opportunity to be a the kind of guy who is “a family man”, or to do some side projects at work, like training other developers to use our software, or to take a business course, or learn more about electronics, or read, or any of those things that I’ve left in a pile on the side while I worked with fencing.
I know that many of you define me through my fencing, but it’s the right move for the club, it’s the right move for me too.
Oh yes, it will be mine
The keyboard I’ve always dreamed about, but I thought manufacturers were too dumb to make. Easy to hold, built in mouse in the form of a touch pad, and freakin’ Bluetooth. Ships later this moth to a Will Read near you!
Annual Review
Wednesday (today) I have my formal annual review scheduled. I think it’ll be the first time that I’ll actually get a review, and that it’s not just a “oh that thing on paper?” deal. I’m looking forward to seeing where my boss wants me to head. He gave some sound advice to Matt who wants to branch out in his knowledge of existing API’s and write, so Chris encouraged him to write two blog entries over the next year.
Obviously I do not need encouragement in writing blogs.
The area I know I’m weak in is what I call “playing the game”. I don’t like having to manage my manager. To ask for things at a certain time, in a certain way, just to get the things I need to do my job. I want to be able to say “Please buy X because I need it.” or “Let’s do Y because it’ll improve the process” and for him to understand that I’m not asking for this only because I want it, but because I’ve researched it and I think it will provide business value.
I want to head towards a manager role, but I want to avoid doing double duty of being a dev AND a manager. I don’t know if that’s possible in this company though.
I think another thing that could use improvement is that I need to trust my boss and be trusted by him. Right now I don’t feel he’s very informed about my situation, nor I of his, and so I know neither of us can take the other into account when making decisions. At a minimum, more time together will help resolve that issue, but I don’t feel like he’s available to talk, ever. So maybe that’s the shake.
The Good Girl
So last night I watched The Good Girl with Jennifer Aniston. As soon as I sat down and got to the DVD menu I realized I had already seen it, and that it had left a bad taste in my mouth, but decided to watch it anyway, just to see why.
It’s an independent film, so the transitions are weird, and it has a stale-lack-of-soundtrack feel to it, which works in this case. The movie focuses on this one woman who hates her life, because it is so bland. She meets a guy, a boy really, who gives her a chance to escape and in turn she’d be helping him escape the same plight. But she chickens out and people all around her get hurt because she’s unwilling to own up to her actions and insecurities.
And then it ends. That’s it. “People can’t change”, says the film writer. I get it, but I hate it.
