Blogophobia

Maybe it’s an unconscious fear, or maybe my fingers are feeling tired. For some reason, when I visit my own blog, I just don’t feel like writing. I haven’t even been writing private entries. Some updates are due I suppose. For starters, I’ve been talking on and off with Sarah, an old friend from high school. And speaking of old friends I’ll get to see a handful of them just before my birthday in July.

Work is slowly decreasing in how rewarding it is. We’ve been outside of a formal release for over a month. We still have no new developers while all the other departments have seen growth. I know I complained about working an 80 hour week, but it felt so good to hit that deadline. I felt like I was king of the old gum tree, if only for a short time.

The task of being the USFA Division Secretary is proving to be just as hard as I hoped it wouldn’t be. Everyone want to contribute just enough to make it difficult to move forward. I’ll fight that fight some more this weekend before I leave for Summer nationals in Miami.

Speaking of, I really wish I was competing in Div II. As it stands I’m part of a team, and I’m glad my teammates found a way to go. I feel really good about my current fencing and I can’t wait to test my ability on the national level.

Back to the friend front, I also got a call from Brittany tonight. I was fencing so I didn’t answer it, but I’ll be confronting my fear of phones later this weekend to catch up with her. I also got to see a lot of my parents this week. They leave tomorrow for the annual family vacation. I hope when I return that things are better at work, that I’ll be re-energized and able to claw though life’s obstacles for another few months.

Lunch Report

I had lunch with Jess (same Jess as coffee last week) on Wednesday. We went to Camille’s Sidewalk Cafe, my favorite [overpriced] place to go for lunch. Some highlights:

• She was on time again. Big points for promptness.
• She looks great in glasses.
• Our work environments are not so different

All-in-all, another good chance to get to know her better.

A Little Adult

If you were a new girlfriend of mine and were meeting my parents for the first time, my mother would probably tell you stories to illustrate how I’ve always been “a little adult”. The stories illustrate the point well, but I’ve never been able to put my finger on what characteristic created that feeling. I tell jokes that have all kinds of colorful imagery, I dress like I’m in middle school, I don’t like to brush my teeth.

So what makes me an adult? I think I may have figured out what that things is from a conversation with Matt (from work) today. It’s guilt. But not just guilt, but guilt combined with the motivation to avoid making the same mistake twice. The ability to improve. Knowing and admitting that you screwed up, then taking that feeling of having done a bad job, and using it as energy to drive yourself to do a better job next time. That’s what makes me an adult. That’s why I succeed where others might flounder.

it went well

It’s tough to gauge how my coffee date really went in the grand scheme of things, but I walked away feeling good about it. She (Jess) was very easy on the eyes, fun to talk to, honest & bold, inquisitive, and great at conversation. We talked about a wide array of things, from family structure to why I was called “HC” in college. She laughed at all the right times and the tone flowed really well from funny, to serious, to funny, and back.

I said it’s tough to gauge because I wanted to treat her differently than I have treated other first meetings. I just wanted to get to know her and have her get to know me. What I was shooting for is that she’d have new questions she’d want to ask me next time, and to find things to ask about her next time. What I wasn’t trying to do was force myself to decide if I’d like to date her, or guess at if she’d like to date me. Giving things a chance to build up, something to then start from, a good foundation, that’s what I’m looking for. Then, cross the big bridge later on. Hopefully.

Wholesome

I went to lunch with some coworkers today. During our conversation, the topic of what kind of women I’m interested in came up. In my head I’ve come to the conclusion that my dating life has been experiencing some moral decay lately, and that I need to get back to where I once was.

I told them, “I’m looking for a wholesome woman.”
They looked at me strangely, as if I had just said “I’d like to date a porcupine.”

I’m not just talking about if/how soon a person wants to have sex, but the whole person. I want her to have high standards for herself. I want to meet someone who does good things and treats people with kindness and fairness. I want to know someone who wants to know me and who has wholesome friends.

Which reminds me, I might be having coffee on Thursday night. I’ve suggested a book store, I hope it goes well.

Hardware Bitches!

On Sunday, after fighting illness on Saturday while moving (in truth the guys who came to help and my parents did all the work, I just pointed and answered questions), I went to South Bend Indiana to compete in the 12th Annual Indiana Cup (this is fencing). I went 2-2 in the pools, which was ok, but not great. I had a buy the first round of DE’s (direct elimination), and fenced Raffi for to get in to the semis.

I haven’t beaten Raffi since he started fencing, he is no easy opponent. In the pools he beat me 5-0. I haven’t lost a pool bout so bad in nearly two years. So we fenced. And he got the first two touches. I was too aggressive. I settled a bit, but kept the pressure on him. The score became 2-3. I stay focused, keep my attacks simplified, and just think about my feet, my distance, the stuff I’ve been working on in class.

When we break after three minutes of fencing, the score is now 9-6. I’m up, and I’m only 6 points away from winning with a three point lead. But I can’t think about that, the math won’t help me win. Pavel tells me what he sees, and he’s dead on. He can’t tell me what to do because he doesn’t fence my weapon, but he helps me enough, and I make some plans.

Second period goes similarly. Raffi is catching on, so I add a third stroke from time to time in my attacks to keep him guessing. The gap narrows as our scores advance. I throw in a nice evasion attack, and follow it up with a [lucky] flick to the back as he tried to counter attack. The score gets to 13-12, and I finish up neatly with more of the same, 15-12.

It was enough to earn me third place, so I came home with a cup. Another piece of hardware to add to my collection.

Moved

I moved on Saturday. New address:

3606 Driftwood Dr S #102
Lafayette IN 47905

Twice a day

It only happens twice a day, 12:34 that is. Some people like wishing when the clock has all the same numbers, like 1:11, or 2:22. But that happens all the time. Me, when I make a wish, I like for it to be special, like the shooting star of every day. It’s always meant something special to me, ever since I was in high school. Back then it was always the same wish, and probably not anything that you’d expect it to be from a boy in his teenage years…

Farting Around

Today I had my little map application finished and on my screen. My boss came over and immediately thought it was a great idea for a marketable product and started doing a brain dump of how customers would use such an application.

So I talked it over with my coworker who is way better at design than I am (but he’ll never admit it). He and I hashed out some object and base classes. I talked it over with my boss and now I’m writing a benefits sheet and making a power point presentation for next Tuesday when the idea will be pitched to the other decision makers in the company.

It was really just supposed to be a 30 minute project. I just wanted to play with some technology. Now I’ve undermined the work of our intern, and I feel like I’ve been elevated in status somehow in the eyes of the company. It is an experience that will test me to continue to be humble. I didn’t ask for this recognition, but it’ll be an adventure handling it.

Maps from Google

Today I farted around with Google Map API. I’m working on creating a web page that has a marker for each of our 102 customers at work. Right now we’ve got our intern actually putting pins in a map. Why? I’m not sure. But I saw him doing it and I thought “Hey, there’s software for this!”. The nice part too is that the markers would be updated if we added or lost a customer automatically.