Well Blended
When I was in middle school and later on in high school on in to college, I wore mis-matched shoes. They were Converse Chuck Taylor All Stars, usually high top. The left would be blue for example, and the right would be yellow. They colors themselves didn’t mean much, but the fact that they were different was key. It was like being goth, or emo, or preppy, only I was my own group. And thus I stood out.
I gave up the shoes in college when I realized that I had learned the skills needed to stand out in other ways. I could be a leader of a small group like fencing. I could be responsible. I could be a caring friend. I could be an entertaining story teller. I no longer needed my clothing to help me stand out, I could do that just as well by being myself.
The worst thing you could do to me is to put me on a remote island with no one to bear witness to my life and the person I am. Worse still would be living in a world with nothing but clones of myself. I could never stand out. The world is just fine with one me, and I’m happy to leave it at that.
Drugs are Bad
“Drugs are bad, mmmkay”
-South Park
When I was in high school, I’d do something crazy, and people would ask “Are you on drugs?” and I’d always reply “I wish I was on drugs, so then I could stop being on drugs, and life would be so much easier.” I’m a big fan of experiencing as much as you can in life, but drugs are one thing I’ll take the pass on.
And it’s really that easy, for me, to say no thanks. It’s easy because I’ve got friends who don’t use. The people I come into daily contact with, the people I look up to, the people I turn to for advice, they all make good decisions. They set the bar high. I’ve never been offered drugs. I like to think it’s because they already know I’m the type who never take them up, I hang out with that group of non-drug-using people. There’s no way they’re getting through that fort wall.
A Man of the Later Type
Knowledge is of two kinds. We know a subject ourselves, or we know where we can find information on it.
– Samuel Johnson
I’m a man of the later type. I know myself very well, more so than most know about themselves I’d argue. But the remainder of my knowledge either fencing or programming related. Instead, I’m the guy who knows where to look, or what to look for. The rest of what I would say here, I’ve already said in a recent post: I’m Scary
Pride and Humility
“Keep you head high, but your nose at an approachable level.”
I don’t know who to credit for this quote since I can’t find the source, but I’m certain someone out there knows it. To me this quote says that you should take a lot of pride in who you are, but keep that pride from becoming arrogance. You should still be friendly despite being a person of great character wealth.
I imagine most people have the most trouble with remaining humble. For me, I’ve had to make the conscience effort to hold my head high and be accepting of compliments for the things I’ve done. When I decided to make a full-time run at being a fencing instructor, people told me I was crazy, but in the same breath they’d tell me they were jealous, that they wished they could go after a dream the way I was. Even still, I felt like a homeless guy (even though I had a place I was renting) and a coward for bailing out of my 8-5 job at the steel mill (even though living off income from my own business would prove to be far more challenging).
It’s so hard for me to accept that I’ve done something well because out of 6 billion people in the world, there’s only one thing I can ever claim that I do better than all of them, that’s “being me”. No matter what, I will always have that, so I better make it something I’m proud of.
Living
William Wallace, Braveheart
When I die, be it tomorrow, or 100 years from now, I want people to say “I’ll miss Will, but he lived a full life.” I don’t want them to think about the unrealized potential I had; how if I only had a few more years I could have turned my life around, or done something great. I want to make sure my life is always on course, and that I’m always doing something great.
I don’t want to be known as the guy who wakes up, goes to work, comes home, watches some TV, then goes to bed to do it all over the next day. I want to be known as the guy who is always chasing after his dreams, who always fulfills his obligations, who contributes to society in a positive way. I want to be the proactive guy; not waiting for my ship to arrive, but rather to swim out to meet it half way. That’s who I want to be.
A Conglomeration of Quotations
I’ve recently made some choices in my life that aren’t in line with the person I thought I would be five years ago. And while most of those choices were fun and did not hurt anyone, they’re choices that I need to come to terms with and rectify.
As the first step of that process, I’ve decided to define who I am/want to be. I thought I’d make this part of my project public, and conduct it by giving a daily quote that sums up a character trait, then elaborate on it a bit. So today’s quote is:
Kurt Vonnegut, Mother Night
If you ever have a quote that you think applies or is better, by all means feel free to leave it in the comments.
Today
Today I helped a coworker make some whiteboards, as he said at the end of the day “50% of Phase I is complete!”
I also came home to find someone had mowed my front lawn. Thank you I guess.
This evening I purchased some new Dial for Men soap that’s intended for a poof, but works on both skin and hair. Should be crazy.
And now, a beer and some reading before going to bed.
Supervisors
I was thinking about the reason why two developers from my company left shortly after I arrived. And I thought I’d share an idea that I had as a result of letting my brain wander on that path, though it doesn’t necessarily apply to anyone I know.
What I wonder is if on a subconscious level, people try to force their supervisors into a parental role. On some level, a boss is like a dad (or mom) away from home. You look to that person to set an example of how to approach your job. If he/she comes in late, then it is hard for you to justify being prompt. If he/she is always prepared and on time for meetings, then it’s easier for you to do the same. When you’re disobedient, you expect to be punished, and for consequences to be enforced. When you do well, you expect praise.
As an extension of this, perhaps this is why family men find themselves in management positions. Maybe that skill of knowing how to deal with children is the same as that required to deal with subordinates. It would seem then, that the most important question a candidate could ask during an interview is “Are you a parent? Is your family happy with you?”
Hmmm. Brainify that for a while.
I’m Scary
I am not an expert at anything but being Will Read. I know this and freely admit it. The other thing I am very good at, is knowing who the experts are, the people who have their act together, who I can work with.
I am scary because most people instinctively expect leaders to be experts in not just one area, but in many, or all areas. When I say it like that you probably reacted with, “Well obviously no one can be an expert in all areas.”, or something similar. And you’re right. I’m scary because me being in a leadership position means everyone else has to work, chip in, and help out, doing what they’re good at.
To me, a leader is a person who can identify those experts, and put them to good use in conjunction with other experts. When you’re part of any organization, especially a volunteer organization, you can’t do it all yourself. It’s not healthy for you as an individual, it’s not healthy for the organization.
Lead by example, and delegate the hell out of it. Let people help.
