It’s Only The Second Craziest Thing I’ve Done In My Life

I’ve decided to run for president of the USACFC. Here’s some background of the organization and my opinions. Basically, for those unwilling to click through, the current leadership has secret meetings and makes changes/decisions without consulting membership. I tried to make it better as historian (an officer position) but even as an officer my opinion went unheard; anyone who isn’t one of the top two dogs goes unheard.

I tried to ignore it. Now the USACFC is in it’s fifth season. Purdue continues to participate. The over all participation continues to grow such that this year, there will be forty teams which makes for 800 fencers, bigger than a day at a North American Cup. Huge.

So I’m going to run for president. I’m going to fix it all if they let me. I need a wing-man, a second in command, someone I can trust and work well with. Together we’ll make the leadership as transparent as possible by using the e-mail groups, web site, and other tools to their fullest. We’ll set up regional qualifiers. We’ll make nationals become a more manageable event. It will help the growth on local levels as well. Fencing everywhere will benefit.

I’m nuts. I’ve got a job. And another job. And a new relationship to nurture. And growing family concerns. And coaching all over Lafayette. And somehow I still feel that this is something I need to do, for myself, for fencing.

The next step is planning.

Friend Archetype

I think in life, we all have a set of friend-types we need to feel complete. Some of us need a confidant, some need a side-kick, some need an informant (aka gossip queen), some need a partner-in-crime, some need a hero, and some need a fan-boy. The individuals may come and go from our lives, but the roles still need to be filled.

This notion came to me when I went to visit a friend [over a year ago] in 2006. Several months prior, she had pushed an old friend of hers out of her life because he was abusing the friendship. While I was visiting her, we hung out with a new friend of hers, who very much reminded me of the old friend. So much so, that after spending an evening with the new friend, all I could think about was how he was “Old Friend version 2.0″.

Now, months later, the new friend has gone the path of the old friend, and the old friend has re-entered her life. She has a need for that type-X of friend, and I suspect there are only a few individuals on this earth who are able to fill that void.

Everyone Would Referee If…

JO2’s 014

Originally uploaded by jdlwfencer.

This is me at the hotel for Junior Olympics refereeing a bout between two of my fencers. This was unofficial, after-hours, Will-is-dead-tired refereeing. I thought I did a decent job for not having a scoring box and being immobile.

200 Posts Behind

Currently I’m about 200 posts behind my mark of posting an average of once per day. The goal was set when I started this incarnation of blogging back in June 2004. To date, I should be around 975 posts, when I’m really only at 770 or so (includes private posts). So essentially, 1/3rd of a year over the last three years has not been documented. Leaving roughly 1/9th of each year a mystery to both you and the sands of time.

Weird

I’m weird. And I don’t mean “I’m weird because I talk about poop and dinosaurs.” - although that is also true. I mean that I don’t fit the mold.

I don’t fit the “guy” mold. I don’t particularly like watching football, or any sport for that matter. I don’t like beer, but I do like fruity drinks, ales, and wines. I’m more empathetic than most guys. And since you’re already thinking it, I’ve even been lovingly called “The gayest straight man I know” by a girlfriend. I don’t fit the “guy” mold.

I don’t fit the “smart kid” mold. I’m neither an overachiever, nor a slacker. I doubt I will ever go for my PhD, but I do run my own business. I enjoy learning new things, but I wouldn’t go within a ten foot radius of a library most days. I don’t fit the “smart kid” mold.

My point is that sometimes I say things, or do things, that make the people around me feel pleasantly surprised. They say “Most people wouldn’t do that Will.” And all I can think is that “I’m not like most people, I’m weird.” and it all feels very comfortable, very natural to me. I am who I am – completely un-moldy.

Relationship Growth

I learn something in every relationship. This one is no exception. Here I’ve been presented with barriers, walls, obstacles, and guardsmen – all designed to prevent me from showing affection. I suspect their true purpose is to safeguard against vulnerability, which in turn hinders trust and openness.

My job, as a relationship participant, is to deliver my feelings of fondness and loyalty to the person contained inside the barriers. And the rules are always changing and expanding:

• No surprises
• No celebrating Valentine’s Day
• No direct compliments, especially in regards to physical appearance
• No cheer leading at fencing events

So I’ve assembled a crack team of innovators, dreamers, and imagineers (read: Me, Myself, and I are all present and accounted for). Together this team is presented with this challenge. Occasionally moral is low, and frustrations increase, especially when new barriers are uncovered, but ultimately they experience success, and they continue to take pride in their work. The tools they employ include: Sideways comments that sneak in to an otherwise neutral statement, rule bending, and good old fashioned Tom-Foolery. Knowledge is the key to many of these tactics. Pushing the limits means sometimes you push too far and the best thing they can do is apologize and ask for forgiveness, … and then try again

God

I’ve always tried to live a good life, a life I could be proud of. I always tell myself that when I die, I want people to say, “He led life to the fullest.” My family hasn’t always gone to church. I myself rarely find myself at home or awake enough to attend because I let fencing get in the way.

I have never liked the idea of fate, that I wasn’t in control. In my exposure to religion, there has always been this idea of God ’speaking’ to us, to me, but I never heard Him - or so I thought.

I’ve been reading a book, and listening to my fencers, some of whom are deeply rooted in their faith. The conclusion that I’m coming to is that I’ve heard Him all along, I just didn’t realize who it was I had been hearing. It has always been there, the voice that tells me to do what is hard, but right, when times are dark and difficult, the voice that tells me which way to dig out. It is as if you had someone like your best friend who has been by your side all your life, then one day that friend mentions to you, “By the way, I don’t know if you knew this, but I’m [insert infinitely famous person here].”

So that’s kind of where I’m at. Now I have to grow to be able to accept this trusted friend in the new, larger role that he has revealed to me.

One Piece

I made it back in one piece, perhaps more whole than when I left. This past weekend I went to Denver, CO where I had the opportunity to coach two of my fencers at Junior Olympics. They both fenced where they should have; neither one choked on the strip in the light of a national tournament. I think they both realized however, that there is a whole new league of fencing, one which I hope they’ll continue to partake in.

While in Denver I also ran into Laura and Andrew from coaches college. It was good to see them on Saturday, but I missed them on Sunday; I had been hoping to follow up on a conversation or two. So I was sorry that our time together was not longer. Also while in Denver I screamed numerous times while crossing the street against the crosswalk signals, that was fun. Other than that I had a good time hanging out with Josh and Ed after the events.

While I was away, Steve picked up his “C” rating back here at Purdue’s Spring Open. It also looks like he managed to solidify his relationship with Amanda from IU. It’s good to see him being so successful in life. In related news, I also have found myself newly in a relationship with Blair (also from IU), though I haven’t nailed down the details of that just yet. I had called her to see what she was up to tonight, thinking I’d stop by Bloomington after my flight landed around 8pm, but she was working which worked out anyway because I was delayed and didn’t get in to the airport until 11pm.

So you see, it all works out in the end.

Progress

Last night I had a conversation with Blair that I wasn’t expecting to happen for months. It was the greatest thing; she opened up to me. She told me how she was worried, about her fears. She told me why she was afraid. One thing I really like about Blair is that the more I get to know her, the more things add up and make sense. Unlike some of my other relationships where there is this disjoint within the person, as if there’s really two or more value systems at war with each other inside the person. Here, with Blair, it is very clear that, while she may be uncertain of the future, she knows what is important to her, and she makes decisions that reflect those values. I really enjoy learning about her.

[Insert Title Here]

I don’t know what to call this post because it’ll touch on a lot of things. So first up is work. The actual work part of work has been great. They’ve got me on a machine that has the development environment so I got to do some actual work. The most fun I had was working on an internal project that packages up our modules automatically and…

 So while I was typing this, a pipe broke in my house. Specifically in the laundry room which I haven’t used in over a week. So water was gushing everywhere, which was exciting. So I tromped down to the basement and shut off all the water in the house since there was not a local shut off valve. I’ve called my landlord so he’s going to stop by. I wish I had taken a shower before this happened.

Anyway, back to work. The packager was pretty neat because it does that whenever you push out a release version, no human intervention required. Our lead developer got to look at my code and point out a few things I could have done better too. I think I could have done better about taking his critique better, but at the same tome, half the code I was using wasn’t mine in the first place, so I felt a little defensive. It’ll be something to change about me for next time.

On the back end, fencing + work is taking a toll on my body I think. Thursday night/Friday morning I got what I call allergies, though I don’t know what I’m allergic to. Essentially my nose and eyes run non-stop. I think the worst is over at this point, but it made for a miserable work day, and then Saturday at the dual meet at OSU I was dehydrated and half-groggy from all the drugs I was taking.

The last part, is the OSU dual meet where I went along as Purdue’s coach. Columbus, OH is four hours away, and we didn’t leave Lafayette until seven o’clock. Which meant by the time we stopped by a Purdue alum’s house and checked in to the hotel, it was past midnight. Keep in mind that we had to wake up at 5:30 am. But I got in the van with a good group of guys and Steve so there was plenty of good humor to be had by all. Steve did amazing at OSU, beating U of Michigan’s A slot, and earning a compliment from their coach, Jim Vesper. It made me feel good both about Steve and about my own ability to train a fencer who wants to be trained. Oh and the IU women were there of course, but that is a story for another entry.

So we got home at midnight. I stayed up another two hours watching the last half of a foreign film “Blue” and talking to people on the internets. I was still fighting off the allergy symptoms when I climbed into bed and knew I had to get up at 6 AM to get to Notre Dame to ref at the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre. When that alarm clock went off I felt way too tired to drive, and didn’t want to push my health, so I called in sick to my ref gig, the first time I’ve ever done that, and I feel pretty shitty about doing so, but I’ve made a decision that work has to come first, and fencing comes second. So based on that principle, the decision was clear.